Where do I start? Where i left off? Where is that even? -I guess that’s about a year ago where i left everything and (almost) everyone behind; which in other words, i’ve got no clue.
We’re all mad here. & I believe so. I’ve lost my will to continue what it was supposed to be my life, future and the source to my food, fame and glory. I lost that part of me to tell the difference apart between genuine love or not and i lost my soul; which i know that this is the second saddest thing to ever happen to me or anyone. My madness drove me to a point that i didn’t know how to feel. and even at the slightest hint of weakness id feel lingering in me, i’d shut it out, brush them aside and tell myself its nothing to worry about. It is only normal for that to happen and people would be telling you that it’s only part of you being a strong girl. But trust me. THIS isn’t it. You kinda just stop living that emotion, whatever it may be. then you just find yourself staring into space and numbing yourself all over again.
My madness drove me to a point that id settle for whatever affection i think i deserve. even if it means its from a person i know i am dearly fond of but this feeling of mine is unrequited. That all the affection he shows, i think they’re all enough for me to at least feel all warm and fuzzy like having butterflies in my stomach again. That i am comfortable at where we are now. I see so much greatness he can offer because he is a smart one and contrary to that, im not as bright. We all have our weaknesses, aye? But all in all, the love that we get is what we think we deserve. I know i deserve more than what i give. i only wish he could see me.